Divorce can be confusing, upsetting and stressful time for children. It can have a negative effect on a child of any age, though it if often seen the most in youthful, pre-pubescent children. Therefore it is up to the mothers and fathers to do anything they can to minimise this affect. This article will focus on a few of the things you can do to lessen the impact of divorce on your child or children.

Informing the truth is one of the most important things to do, even though most parents find it particularly difficult to do so. Your children aren’ t stupid and they will be able to tell if something happens to be wrong. Because of the sensitive nature of the conversation, it makes a lot of sense to organize beforehand. Obviously, the goal of this discussion is to reassure the child, not confuse or upset them. With this in mind, it is best to simplify or sugar coat the explanation (for example, mummy and daddy don’ t get along anymore rather than mummy’ s a precious metal digging whore). The key is being truthful with your children without being critical of the spouse.

Little things such as reassurance that both parents will still love the kid are particularly important – meant for young children in particular. Although it is tough, you should attempt to view the situation through the eye of a child. Children are dependent on their parents and divorce can tremble the trust of the parents they depend on. Unfamiliarity, instability and low self-esteem are other all-too-common feelings the parents should look to address.

When looking for choices to make the divorce less stressful for the child, mediation should be considered. Mediation is a non-adversarial, collaborative process. Because of the collaborative nature, it is much easier to focus on what is best for the children. Not only does mediation create a better outcome for the kid, the process is also easier 99% of the time.

Mediation allows parents and children to discuss feelings without raised voices or even conflict. Not only is this beneficial to the kid but I can help create a healthy working relationship with your soon to be ex husband or wife.

While encouraging flexibility excellent, never underestimate the benefits of having a program. Routine doesn’ t have to be inflexible or inflexible, but by creating a routine, you can instil a sense of calm, stability and belonging in the child’ s life. Knowing the dinnertime is followed by bath and then homework can help to set a child’ s i9000 mind at ease. Maintaining an established program also helps to reinforce the idea of rules, obeying them and rewards for good conduct. It can be difficult but its important to prevent trying to spoil your child during a separation and divorce, it is far more healthy for both the kid and you as a parent to ensure formerly set rules are obeyed.

The most important believe in a child’ s life is their parent figures. In keeping with this it really is equally important that both parents still look after themselves and retain as much normality as possible. Things such as exercise, a healthy diet and maintaining a social living are easily forgotten during this emotional time, but doing these things regularly can aid you in getting through the separation and divorce process.

If you have any more advice or suggestions, please share in the comment area below.

6 Responses to “Children, Divorce And Mediation”

  • PIE BOY:

    It’s ineffective, because first of all, all a parent is is one who gives birth to or one who owns a child. Our idea and definition of a parent today is someone who nurtures a child. Now, if I didn’t do anything, would this parent nurture me? If I ate foods without knowing they were serious health risks, would I still be being nurtured by this parent–remember we’re talking about God–?

    Also, when people say that God loves a person like a parent loves its child… that’s really anthropomorphizing an omni-being. Some parents beat their children. Some parents sold their children as slaves back in the day, and some still do today. Some parents, even in the lower-classed animal kingdom, need to feed on the young in order to survive. So, does all this have bearing on “God” too? Or is God only like the seemingly loving human being, and no other creature reflects off of “His greatness”?

    Maybe I’ll post more, but think about this for now.

  • nasty1:

    The mother told me there was no way the child could be mine when she found out she was pregnant. she ended up marrying the guy whom she thought was the father, but after the child was bored and it didn’t look like him he had a DNA test and found out it wasn’t his. The guy opted to stay with her and try and work it out. And i opted to pretend this whole thing never happened. Now almost a year later she’s threatening to come after me for child support. Does she have a case?

  • Picean:

    Long story short. I am going through a divorce and while I wait on mediation, my wife has filed a bogus domestic violence injunction (which got dismissed), she then filed for child abuse (which got dismissed), and now she will not let me have my kids because “I am moody and abusive”, which let me remind you got dismissed. Is there anything I can do to have my children or try to pursue false reporting or withholding my children from me? I am going crazy!!

  • Matthew S:

    I’m about to go out of my mind. I’ve been as strong as I can be and feel I really don’t have anyone to talk to. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is involved in my case but there really isn’t much they can do but talk. My children, Sarah and Shaz who are 6 and 4, were taken from the USA in June of 2009. December of 2009, a judge ordered their father bring them back from Pakistan. He had come back in September and left them, and a week before court left once again and has been uncooperative. I filed a report with the police once again for violation of a court order and they keep saying all they can do is charge him, at best, though he’s out of the country. According to his brother, he plans to come back with a new wife (somebody who he can beat and treat as a slave and get away with it, unlike me who fought back and divorced him for it). Wouldn’t charges be better than nothing, especially if he comes back? He violated a court order already, tomorrow will be twice as there is court ordered mediation and he still isn’t back. Why won’t the authorities do anything but talk? I’ve tried calling over there many many times, and I’m not allowed to even talk to my children. There were two occasions when I did. The first, they were begging to come home. The second, a couple of months later, they barely knew who I was and sounded like little zombies. I need some kind of support group because I don’t know what else to do. I keep feeling like if I died right now, my children wouldn’t even remember me because their abusive father is doing something to them and I have no way of intervening. I’m with my partner now of two years and I’m due in 5 weeks with our first child together (and last for me, this was a mistake since I was on the pill, but I couldn’t abort her). I don’t know where else to turn or what else to do. I feel like he’s still being abusive mentally and emotionally as he was when we were married and I have no way of protecting my babies from that. It’s killing me inside and I don’t know what else to do.

  • ConfusionnaJob:

    My Husband and I have been married over a year, we have one child and she’s 9 months. We have already seen the mediator and have custody and visitation taken care of. I have full physical and we share legal. I have never worker during the course of our marriage and he makes a great deal of money. I’m just trying to understand how California work with child support and all. He doesn’t see her at all. Thanks.
    He has visitation but, chooses not too see her.

  • Rkmc:

    We’ve already had a judgment, that has been in place for over a year.

    Job/Schedules have changed and I would like to re-arrange the custody schedule.
    I have tried on many occasions to settle this with my ex-husband out of court and he is uncooperative.
    I would like the have the children on Sunday to bring them to church. He was apparently upset to find that we got a dog, and sent me a text “I was thinking about letting you have them on Sundays but now the answer is NO”
    I have primary custody he has them weekends. He has become increasingly agitated and at the recent drop-off/pick ups he has been verbally assaulting me in front of the children.

    I am wondering if I should request mediation or do I need to file for a new judgment if I would like to change the days that he has them?

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