Quite certainly, a divorce can put a lot of strain on every members of the household. At times it may be difficult to view the divorce on the lighter side and see that it’ t the best option for future happiness of both the parents.
Generally, children are most affected by the divorce, especially if they’ re still young and may not be in a position to understand the reason for the divorce. Nonetheless, irrespective of the age the child, his very first thoughts of this happening would be due to his fault. The good news is that you can do something to guide your child through this difficult time.
Tips to help your child cope with divorce:
1 . Preserve open communication. Be upfront together with your child about the divorce. You may still have some feelings for your ex-spouse and felt rather sad and reserve about it, but don’ t prevent yourself from talking about it together with your child. There’ s nothing most severe than acting as though the divorce is nothing serious.
Let your child talk about his fears and apprehensions; provide him a shoulder to weep on if needed; and make sure to attend to all his needs and concerns at all time.
2 . Nobody is to be blamed. Assure your child that the divorce is not due to his fault. He might not know the true reason from the divorce and may blame himself instead. He may even think that there’ t something he can do to invert the divorce. Help him fully understand the reality of it and his negative feelings.
Even though you feel that the divorce is due to your own ex-spouse, it’ s always prudent to refrain from displaying your feelings of anger towards your ex-spouse when your kid is around. Such behavior will only result in him to become more withdrawn and bottling up his feelings.
3. Enjoy for your child must remains strong. Tell your child that both parents still love him very much. With the changes happening in your child’ t life, he needs to be assured of the very important thing that both the parents’ loves for him aren’ t going to change no matter what.
4. Inform him of changes in good time. When big changes in the family are to take place, transit these changes into your children as gradual as possible. Let him know before the change happens so he’ t some time to prepare himself.
5. Visitation legal rights. Explain the visitation arrangement to your child including when he’ ll be able to be with the other mother or father and for how long. On the same token, in case one parent can’ t view the child for a few weeks, be sure to tell the child about it so he’ ll not think the other parent can be “ abandoning” him. Also, never ever prevent the child from be with all the other parent.
6. Avoid negativity. It might be tough to avoid negativity, especially if you’ re the one been most hurt. Always be the bigger parent and consider something positive to say about the additional parent. This’ ll go a long way in releasing some of the strain from the divorce for your child.
7. Get together meant for special occasions. Both parents should be involved when it comes to special occasions like birthdays or holidays affecting the child. If you think you may be reasonable and level headed, attempt to share these times with your ex- partner and the child together. If this isn’ t possible, then arrange the time between both parents fairly.
Divorce can indeed, brings certain havoc into your lifetime, but it needn’ t affect the way you bring up your child. Be mindful of his needs, too, as well as allowing him to spend quality time with his other parent. With time, your child will be better able to deal with it.